NIGHT LIFE IN UNILAG

Funny how a simple thing as just a song  from a radio can inspire an article. Loool! Anyways, Lagosians basically live for the the night but that’s even over stretching the scope of this article. How about we make it a little more personal…. something we can relate with. Does a typical unilag student live for the night? The answer can be  yes or a no. If we draw a venn diagram and call the universal set ‘Unilag night life’, then there would exist in it two subsets….hehe! I just totally lost some people there. The lost folks would be typical elements of one of these subsets I’m going to talk about.

So as I was saying, one subset would be the typical balling guys and lets represent them by ‘A’. The other subset represents our nerd and we shall be calling them ‘B’. Well, since the class room is just a sequel to what they started in the library a night before and every other night, there’s not so much to talk about.  Then we have our very sharp guys. These ones overlap on both spheres and we will call them  the ‘C’ dudes- a little there and a little here.

These being said, let’s just enter into our major discussion for the day. You see one subset where all the drama is. The ‘A’ dudes which we’ve identified are the diversity dudes. To thoroughly operate in this sphere you need something called money. The money factor is what has subdivided this group into how they hangout with their female species at night.

Below are the further sub division that exist:

- The rich dudes
- The okay boys
- The hangout boys

- The Rich dude
Things are supposedly easy for this guy. Hangout nights are more spontaneous and just like rhythm unplugged, anything can happen! They come around in cars bearing gifts- most times, consumables. They say it makes conversation easier. Well, I don’t know. Things kick off in their cars with the lights off. Regardless where he parks, it is always dark in the car at night. You see, gists are that this guy sucks at conversing with babes. At least that’s the perception of…. “Well, she can’t really think I drove all the way here just to talk. So we can as well not beat round the bush” he says.  So it goes two ways; things gets a little too awkward with his ‘guest’ and the girl storms out making the visit very short. In the case the girl hasn’t finished munching her gift, she would still be carrying it while leaving the car.  So people can’t really figure out what happened. “He just came to visit and give me dinner”, she tells her friend.

- The Okay boys
So many guys exist in this sphere mehn. The bad thing is that girls rarely feel a thing for guys like this and  yeah, I have a theory to support this statement. You see, these kind of guys usually delude themselves by believing that have what it takes to handle the girls that roll with the rich dudes, so their conversations never really pass the telephone. In their attempt to impress, they even buy home delivery food for girls since they don’t have their personal cars.

- The hangout Boys
This is where all the gist is. You see, these boys would have been perfect with a little bit of substance (money). Let me first highlight all the qualities of these boys:

1. Smooth talker
2. Adequately polite
3. Knows hangouts spots and corners in school
4. Live for the night

The smooth talkers

This is just a case of- if you don’t have one, you sure must compensate it with something slightly adequate at least. A friend once told me about how he ‘gisted’ a friend all the way from ozone down to school. Apparently, it was all part of the plot. Shockingly, the girl said talking while walking down to school was her best part of the night. The guy however, told me it was just a solution to not having enough money for cab- thanks to ozone that chose not to include free pop corn and drink in the ticket fee that faithful Monday.

Adequately polite

For the rich dudes, being polite ends at opening the car door for that girl to enter- which never happens. So no rich dude is polite based on my conclusion. The hangout guys personally take it upon themselves to be girls’ school daddy and  yeah I mean it literally, school daddy! The scenario of a boyfriend in arts helping his engineering girl do her assignment is totally not impossible for these boys. They are so good at adjusting, at least temporarily if need be.

They know all the hangout spots and corners in school. Opportunities are rare and golden for them unlike the very much spontaneous rich dudes where anything can happen in their car. For these ones, the whole investment of smooth talking and doing assignments finally pay off and you think they would slack by not knowing the appropriate place to milk their cows. Nothing like bad market and enough of these corners ‘yapa’ on campus. I’m tempted to start listing them but let’s leave the gist for another day. Let me not start busting bubbles. Hehe!

“I wan go parol” “mehn, this last 5h na for this night o” is a common statement sodehinde boys are  very familiar with. They are like our typical igbo boys who hustle only to go and spend it in the villages. They starve to have enough for that chicken and chips at night, if you know what I mean…..loooool

Just my own biased perspective, but wait sef……am I even right????????????